Journey to a doctorate
Hi everyone, it’s me!
As students everywhere prepare for the start of term, I thought this would be an ideal time to note down my journey to this point - September 2025, enrolling as a PhD student.
And my reason for doing so is simple.
To show people who think; they’re running out of time; they don’t have the right experience; they spent too long away from academia; they aren’t good enough; it will never happen..
That: they’re not, they do, they haven’t, they are, and it will!
Six months ago, I was all of the above.
It was my second year applying for PhD’s; I’d been so close, built up, let down, such that I was losing morale and confidence.
Two years isn’t that long. But when you are getting older, when you have yet to begin your ‘dream’ career, when you’re feeling like your chances are numbered and diminishing, two years worth of applying with nothing to show for is it incredibly disheartening and demoralising.
But here is the first issue - I did have something to show for it - at the time it’s just impossible to see for yourself.
So let’s take a step back, and I’ll give you a quick rundown of my journey to this point.
This will likely be a pretty long post; once I post a more condensed article it will be here ->
1. I want to work with animals
I won’t spend much time on this, but for an animal-lover, there was no other career direction growing up. At the time there wasn’t that much information around, or it was harder to access than it is now. I felt I had two options: zookeeper, or vet.
I didn’t fancy spending 5 years at uni to become a vet (foreshadowing…) and what could be cooler than working with exotics?? Zookeeper it was.
2. University & volunteering
This part, I’m honestly not sure what I was thinking… Rather than going to college to get the zookeeper qualification, I did my A Levels, took a gap year (I got a place at Brunel University to study Sport Science... but what was I going to do with a Sport Science degree!?) then decided to study my undergrad with the Open University focusing on Biology and Environmental Science, whilst working in retail to pay for it (anyone remember Debenhams?? The poor High Street). Plus, I started volunteering at ZSL London Zoo as I figured this could be the way in.
There’s some sort of method to the madness.
Although, my undergrad degree took 5 years … I could have become a vet in that time…
3. Working at the Zoo!
Starting out as a Learning Volunteer, I got to know my way around the zoo, and crucially, the people.
This led to a permanent customer-facing role in the zoos walk-through exhibits.
This led to Keeper volunteering.
This led to a Seasonal Keeper position - my biggest step towards becoming a zookeeper without already have the qualification. And quite honestly, up to this point, this was probably the best 6 months of my life.
Working with species such as the Malayan Tapir (left), Muntjac Deer, Sumatran Tigers (yes it counts if you weeded the enclosure!), and my favourites of all time, the Bearded Pigs !
Whatever your feelings towards zoos, there’s no denying that making the most difference you can to these animals, forming relationships and bonds, is something incredibly special.
4. End of Contract & Personal Training
And then, all of a sudden, your dream comes to an end.
Charities are always going to struggle with funds, and even one as large as the Zoological Society of London will have to make cuts occasionally. The role I thought would lead to a permanent position, or at the very least be extended to the following season, was ended. At the end of the month I had to say goodbye to my gorgeous piggies, my friends and colleagues.
Now, throughout this time, once I finished my undergrad degree, I decided I wanted to do more studying (glutton for punishment) and I had trained as a Fitness Instructor and Personal Trainer with Train Fitness.
I had always been active, I loved the gym, had been training for many years at this point, loved Biology and Physiology, and thought, why not learn a little bit more.
Leaving the zoo, I thought I may as well side track slightly and start my Personal Training business. For the first time in my working life, I was self-employed; I didn’t have a regular wage, or regular working hours. I had to sell myself to potential clients - we could dive really deep into my personality here but that would take far too long. Let’s just say high self-esteem and an outgoing nature is not something possessed by this girl. For someone who knew fitness, who knew gym training, who knew what they were doing - I had no idea what I was doing.
I was stressed. I was sad.
I was completely lost
5. Zookeeper!
This post is already getting lengthy, and we’re not even at Master’s level yet! So let’s jump forward.
I managed to get a part-time Trainee Keeper role back at ZSL London Zoo, with one of the most amazing managers I’ve ever had (shoutout to you - you know who you are). I would be able to work as a keeper, whilst getting my zookeeper qualification.
PERFECT!
Except, of course, it wasn’t.
A part-time role didn’t really work out the way we all hoped it would. By this time I was in the process of buying a house with my, now, husband; I needed money.
I worked another job on top of the zoo - I worked 12 days in every 14. I fell asleep on the sofa next to my partner most evenings, and I was probably a nightmare to live with.
It was a mess.
I was approaching my mid-20s, earning a pittance, partly doing something I loved, but was also completely exhausted, emotionally fragile and losing ambition and confidence in myself (which was low as it was).
Until I decided to take a U-turn and go back to studying (again).
My love for animals still thrived, my knowledge of conservation flourished, and my desire to make a meaningful difference intensified. I decided to leave my beloved animals (Michelle piggy, I love you and miss you) and apply for a Master’s in 2019, with the dream of becoming a researcher.
6. Another setback
I was successful in securing a place to study a part-time MSc in climate change at Kings College London - I was so excited! KCL is a great university in a great location; despite the chaos I generally enjoy commuting into Central London. On my induction day, a week before modules were due to start, I realised there had been some miscommunication - part-time students were expected on site for lectures and seminars roughly two days a week - this was fine, I had agreed the time off with my employer. Oh, except actually they meant two days a week per module, meaning if these lectures were on different days, I would have to be on site up to four days each week - impossible to do whilst working full-time.
I probably cried as I confirmed my withdrawal from the programme.
This was a major blow for me, not least to say goodbye to KCL before I’d even said hello, but because it then delayed my Postgraduate journey by at least another 12 months. I had left ZSL to pursue just this, and suddenly I had neither.
7. The journey that was Birkbeck
Fast-forward to October 2021, and I was finally starting my Masters! I began studying for an MSc in Climate Change, part-time, at London’s (then) ‘evening university’, Birbeck.
I finally felt like I was making progress towards my dream career.
And then, on week 4 of Term 1 - I found out I was pregnant! Talk about timing!
Oh, that first term and first trimester - what a crazy time.
Term 2 was better once I started feeling better - although I was also planning a wedding - delayed from 2021 because of COVID - and crying that the dress I had chosen 18 months earlier would no longer fit over a baby bump I hadn’t planned to be there.
I swear I’m not making this story up.
My beautiful baby boy was born in July, as I finished my first year of part-time study. I had the summer off, to learn how to be a parent and look after this tiny human, and in October 2022 I began year 2 and my Dissertation, with a baby on my hip. I was super lucky to secure a scholarship for my dissertation project on behavioural culture in orca (read an extract here), and I was able to plan a research trip to OrcaWatch in Scotland - so off the whole fam went to Scotland in search of killer whales!
It was an incredible time, and despite the hardships of maternity and postgrad study, I came out of it so proud of myself.
8. Setbacks 3 & 4 - PhD Applications
Somehow I managed to perform pretty well in my master’s, and was fortunate to have this noted by an academic at Birkbeck, who asked if I was interested in pursuing doctoral study, and helped me start my journey to finding a PhD.
This gave me something to focus on, but under the surface, I was falling.
Looking back, I can trace a lot of my emotions, mental wellbeing and lack of confidence to the moment I submitted my dissertation. No longer was I the bad-ass MSc student, smashing life with a baby. I was just - a mum. No job, no money… no purpose.
Of course, I had purpose. I had to much to be thankful and grateful for. But I likely suffered from delayed onset PPD/PND - a story I will share another time perhaps.
I applied for funded PhD Studentships run by the environmental research council NERC and, out of hundreds of applicants, managed to secure an interview. I prepared so well I thought I had it in the bag.
Until I completely botched the interview (or so I felt).
Apparently, being away from the job market and not interviewing for so many years, plus being on maternity leave with little adult communication, it’s quite easy to forget how awful interviews can be. I prepared - too much. But I didn’t have the practice. Added to this, my extreme lack of confidence in myself reared its ugly head and I froze in that interview.
Honestly I don’t even want to relive that interview. But it was a learning curve that’s for sure.
I kept at it though. That summer I found some projects advertised at RHUL, and it was through that I first met my supervisor. Although the advertised project didn’t manage to secure the funding, I kept in touch with my supervisor, expressed my interests and showed my passion for academia and desire to continue studying by applying for a PhD.
9. Here we are!
And the rest is history! So they say
My relationship with my supervisor was a blessing in so many ways, including when it came to the next round of NERC applications, for the new doctoral training programme, the TREES DLA. I managed to secure an interview for one of around 30 funded studentships. I felt I smashed this one. The last year had been rough, but had been completely necessary.
I started teaching my Group Cycle classes and realised I was a good teacher. I had even decided I would continue in the fitness industry; I was happy and flexible hours fit so well with my family commitments. My confidence in myself was growing. I had nothing to lose this time by applying for a PhD.
I made the Reserve list - I was disheartened as I knew my interview performance had been great. But applying for funded studentships is an incredibly competitive process.
I was okay with it … sort of.
Somehow the stars eventually aligned, and in July 2025 I was successful in securing a funded position which was to be based at RHUL - the university which just so happened to be home to my supervisor, with the project I had originally applied for for TREES. Starting in October 2025 - a very quick turnaround!
When I showed my husband the offer letter I went into shock. Our lives had changed in an instant.
The Founder’s Building, Royal Holloway University of London, Egham
If you’ve read this far, or even if you just skimmed and skipped to the bottom;
Thank you.
I want to make it clear here that, me sharing this rather long story is to show that a PhD trajectory does not have to be a straight line. I’m not sure how I would describe mine; definite peaks and troughs; leaps onto different tracks; rolling downhill?
I would like the main takeaway to be a simple one:
Don’t give up.
Like I said at the start of this post: You are good enough. If you have the passion, determination and motivation, you do deserve to study for your PhD. And if you keep trying, I’m certain it will happen.
Thanks for reading!
I would love to hear from you! Are you studying for your PhD? What was your journey to a doctorate? Are you applying for a PhD project, or funding? Let’s chat about it —>
